Exhausted

I have the best job in the world. Being a stay-at-home mom is really the best.

It's also the hardest job in the world.

There are no words of wisdom or warnings or anything that could have prepared me enough for this job. Especially now that my wonderful 9 (closer to 10! 😭 ) month old is crawling and pulling up on everything. And trust me when I say, I was warned and I believed all the warnings.

My job is the most rewarding and the most exhausting. Because it's not just about raising her, and keeping her fed, and changed, and bathed, and healthy, and out of trouble, and alive. Nope. It also means that I am the manger of the house. Which means keeping the house clean (and hopefully company ready), doing the dishes, doing the laundry (and putting it away), doing the budget and paying the bills and managing our finances (because I'm the nerd and it's just what I do), making dinner, planning meals, grocery shopping, keeping the calendar (again.. I just like to be organized and make sure we don't double book or anything), and organizing the house. Then, of course, I have to take care of myself! Which means, making sure I eat (healthy), getting some exercise in, and making sure to take a shower hopefully once a day, and try to squeeze in some me time so I don't go completely insane. By the end of the day, I don't want to do anything except sit on the couch and watch something or read a book.

And as an insight, as I write this, I still haven't gotten my exercise or shower in.. so I'm still in my workout clothes..

And let me tell you. There is nothing like a small child to open your eyes to the mess and chaos of your home. It doesn't matter if you have hardwood (or a look-a-like), tile, concrete, or carpet; your floors are dirty. SO dirty. I am struggling to even wrap my brain around how to get my floors clean so I don't have to wipe her little hands and feet off all the time. Because I can't just vacuum them.. No.. That would be too easy. With my downstairs (which is where we are 99.99% of the time), we have vinyl that looks like hardwood. (I struggle to see why it's such a fad..) So, not only do I have to vacuum or sweep the floors, I have to mop them as well! Add all of her toys and such that I need to pick up or do something with before I clean the floors and my brain just spazzes out.
(Seriously.. give me carpet any day over these floors.. not to mention, carpet is softer to fall on. 😛 Though I do understand them in the eating, bathroom, and kitchen areas.)

It doesn't stop at the floors either! They learn to pull up, and you realize even more that the nicely organized shelves are no longer safe for.. well.. anything. So, now you need to find a new place in your home or buy new furniture so you have a safe place for the things in those now easy to reach places. For example. I have craft shelves with gel pens and cards and such. There is currently and obstacle in front of these, yet my dear Eden has still managed to find a way to try and grab them. So, I'm shopping storage furniture as there isn't another good place for these things.

It's enough to make one dizzy or go mad. And I'm exhausted.

This is where I take a deep breath.

Because I'm not doing all of this completely alone. I have a wonderful husband who works daily to bring home paychecks to make this all possible. I couldn't be home with our baby girl if it wasn't for him. He's the best.

I have friends and family that are willing to help if only I'd reach out to them and ask. (I'm really bad at asking...)

And most importantly, I have God on my side. He is the giver of life and peace and the great provider. He is mighty!

So, if you read this and can empathize with my plight. If you can relate on so many levels. If it sounds like exactly what you're going through as well. First of all, you're amazing! Remember that you are loved and that you have the almighty God on your side. He will lift you up and walk right beside you. Reach out to your family and friends when you are feeling overwhelmed and in over your head. (I know I need to.) You're not alone. We are better together.

And if you have any helpful suggestions on any of my predicaments, seriously, leave a comment! Shoot me a message! Find a way to let me know! Because I'm all ears! 99% of the time, you know something that I would never have thought of in a million years. So, thank you in advance!

To all of my exhausted parent friends out there, you got this. Keep on keeping on.

Stay Real

There's this guy. He has a blog. His blog is about his journey to loose weight. I know what you're thinking. Every blog about loosing weight or fitness is all about tips and tricks and all positive, full of "You can do it!" or "I got this!" or "Exercise is fun!"

His blog is refreshing because it doesn't have ANY of that! He is so real that some of his blog posts are about how he is struggling or how angry he is, or how he FEELS ALONE.

I can't tell you how awesome that is. You KNOW how awesome that is! For someone to put their REAL feelings out there, to commit to being open and honest and not sugar coating anything! To blatantly say, "This sucks!"

In my opinion, that's what I want to read. It tells me that I am not alone in feeling down or in a funk or just plain sad.

He is an inspiration for all of us to simply stay real. It doesn't matter what other people think. At least we can't be called fakers if we are honest about what is going on.

Read his blog here. It's not professional, but it's real, it's honest.

Most of all, stay real.

To Jeff Bobb, thank you for being real.

What? I'm a night person! What can I say?

So you may be wondering why the sam hill I am up at this hour. Well, I'll tell you... I don't know. Hahahaha! But I've been up later, so I think I can handle this. At any rate, as of today (since this is thursday... even if it is in the wee hours of the morning) I move into Harding (Sears Hall! Yay!) in two weeks. Holly cracker jacks. Time just LOVES to speed by me. All I can hope for is that Sunday, and the time when Cris (my wonderful boyfriend) is here, goes very slowly... though I know it won't. That fact just kind of depresses me.

I am SO nervous and SO excited all at the same time!! I mean... Harding is going to be GREAT! I know it is... but... I've only taken one trip all by my lonesome, and.. well.. it wasn't the greatest experience of my life. I was glad I did it... but yeesh! Of course, I didn't know a single person on that trip. I don't know, I guess I'm just freaking out about not having my parents close any longer. They'll be six hours away! And what am I going to do for money?! My mom and I decided that the first semester I shouldn't have a job as it could add on to the anxiety and stress. But I keep thinking that I won't have any money and therefore won't be able to do anything. I'm probably just freaking out over nothing. But it still is a thought! The other thing is... I don't even know where to begin or how to pack! I look around my room and start freaking out a little. I need to calm down. lol!

Tomorrow, however, I am going to go to Best Buy to see about me getting a new laptop for college since I currently only have a desktop. lol! The one I'm hoping to get is red and black, has a webcam, windows 7, AND a blue-ray player. :) It's exciting. :D hahaha! I really hope that I can get Photoshop CS3 as well. That would be AWESOME!! :D And I need a small, but really good, printer. Gr.. AND I still haven't gotten a comforter... or ways to decorate my walls. This is going to be a difficult two weeks. O.o

On that note, I should probably go to bed seeing as it is just oh... 2:04 in the morning. lol! And so, I shall bid you adieu until next time. :D

Goodnight!

Do you understand? I didn't think so.

So, I have been grounded for over a month now. I know that from a punishment one is supposed to learn something. The thing that everyone fails to see is that I have learned from it. Yes, I did over use and miss use my phone. Yes, I did over use my computer. Yes, I did miss use my car. And I learned from that. I won't text on my phone all the time. I won't expect to be able to use my car all the time. I won't spend all day on the computer. But no one believes me. How I know? Because I've stated this and I still only have my itouch.

I am out of ideas. I am losing hope. And I don't know what else to do. This may sound grave and depressing, but is because that's just how it is... And how it has been lately. I can't write my stories. I can't take my sister out for snowcones. I can't see my boyfriend...

If they gave me any idea of how in the world I could get my phone and computer and car back, this may have been a different blog post altogether. Unfortunately, I have gotten absolutely none of that. Thus, this is how it is.