Friday, January 14, 2011

A piece of randomness

Hold back the pain.
Hold in the tears.
They didn't mean it.
This shouldn't hurt.
Forget what they said.
It doesn't matter.
There is no pain.
There are no tears.
Don't feel the hurt.
Don't scream and shout.
Ignore the despair,
Ignited in your heart.
Everything is fine.
Nothing is wrong.
It's all okay.
Don't feel that way.
It's not like it matters.
It was just a few words.
Forget the anger,
The pain,
The hurt,
The knife in your heart.
Pull back the tears.
People are all around.
They'll see you're wounded.
They'll see you're not strong.
You can pull through this.
It's not the first time.
You can stand on your own...
Or at least look the part.
It doesn't matter if you feel you've been pushed in the dirt.
Doesn't matter if you feel like you're falling apart.
You have to look strong.
They'll start lecturing if you don't.
Hold in the tears.
Hold back the pain.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Happy New Year!!

It's 2011!! 2010 just sped by, didn't it? When I think of New Years Eve, I think of a big party with maybe some dancing and lights, some video games, and just having a ton of fun! However, my family doesn't have the same vision. Either way, this year wasn't exactly how I wanted to start off the new year.

See, my baby cousins were coming down with something, or getting over something, during Christmas, but none of us thought anything of. Then my aunt and uncle, their parents, got sick. Then my other aunt got sick, my grandmother got sick, and my mom was coughing and losing her voice for some reason. So, New Years Eve rolls around and my dad isn't feeling well either. I had a sore throat the morning before and another one that morning. I refused to think I was getting sick and just blew it off. My sister, who was - and still is - feeling perfectly fine, had made plans to go see The Tourist with one of her friends and so we decided we would all go. I had a slight feeling of wanting to throw up, but I, again, pushed the thoughts aside.

We invited my aunt and uncle, who were feeling well, over and asked them to bring their x-box and rock band. My grandma doesn't miss a party, so even though she was still feeling ill she and my grandpa came over as well. My boyfriend, Cris, was invited as well.

I was getting the shivers really bad after the movie, and when I got home, I immediately went to the couch and curled up under a blanket. Cris was the first to arrive and he sat beside me and I felt bad because I was feeling really bad at this point. My mom came in and took my temperature which shot up to 104. I had to admit defeat. I was sick.

Cris sat beside me, holding my hand as I drifted in and out of sleep. My temperature gradually came down and when 12:00 came around I was feeling much better. Cris and I went into the other room and caught the very last bit of the ball drop. He kissed my forehead and my cheek. (This was cute and I liked it, but it wasn't as good as a kiss on the lips, obviously. But, of course, I was still sick.) He stayed for a couple more hours and we watched a couple episodes of SG-1.

I was sick all weekend and still sick when Cris left to go back to Lubbock. So he came by and hugged me, assured me he'd come up for Valentine's Day (which is UBER cute), and then kissed my cheek and forehead again.

But I'm all better now and I worked out today! I'm pretty excited about that. I'm going to try and workout everyday, or every other day at least. It was really fun and I actually enjoyed it! I was surprised by this. Sometime this year, I WILL have a flat tummy! It WILL happen!! It HAS TO!!! 'Course it helps that I am going to be working out every other day with my two good friends... I have no choice in that matter. Ha ha!

Hope y'alls New Year has started off better than mine has! :)