Dear Inner Critic

Dear Inner Critic,

You exhaust me. You're words make my stomach writhe in knots. I am never going to be good enough for you. I will always do something wrong. I know this, yet I can't shake your words from my head.

I'm tired of second guessing things because you don't like them. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing something wrong instead of seeing what Tanner sees. I'm tired of doing something and then hearing your voice questioning what I did or why I did it. I'm tired of you telling me that my life isn't good enough, adventurous enough, intense enough, that my life is mundane and monotonous, that I'm worthless.

I'm so tired of hearing your voice over God's.

God calls me loved. God calls me beautiful. God tells me I'm enough. God calls my life precious. God shows me how wonderful everyday life is and that everyday is different. God helps me remember that there is intensity and adventure in my life.

So, Inner Critic, I am choosing to exile your from my brain. You are no longer welcome. Today I am listening to God's voice. Today I am focusing on all the good things and forgetting all the other things I can't change. Today I am letting the Voice of Truth wash over me and tell me who I am and what I am worth.

Goodbye, Inner Critic. Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Devotional Writing Block

I am working on the devotional thoughts for the Girl's Night for our teen girls. I have tried two different topics. Both times I have gotten two paragraphs in and realized that it sounds more like a speech and/or blog than it does a devotional. There are no discussion questions. While it would be good, I don't want to preach at them. They didn't come to Girl's Night for a sermon, and our goal for the night is to get them to bond. Bonding doesn't happen while your sitting and listening to someone talk.

I am at a loss of what to do. I want to talk about this topic, but I can't seem to not write anything but a speech/blog. Granted I would absolutely LOVE to give a speech, but this isn't the audience, the time, or the place. Tanner said he had the same problem when he started preparing devotionals and it just takes practice. The problem with this: I am a perfectionist. It's a flaw, I know. I don't want to go into this with something that is more speech than it is discussion. I know I will lose their interest. They must interact!

HOW DO I STOP MYSELF FROM WRITING A SPEECH?!

The point I want to get across is that they are the bride of Christ and they don't need to look for love elsewhere because they have the perfect love from God. He is the lover of their soul. I even have a song I was going to reference (Who I Am by Blanca).

My brain just does not want to come up with questions that would lead to that point. I've come up with a great start to a speech/blog though!

Sigh.

Feel free to leave ideas in the comments! Your thoughts are appreciated!

What Do You Rely On?

I read a story in progress a while ago by my friend Paige Hottle and it got me thinking.

What are we relying on? If we rely on the wrong things, what happens when they are gone?

For example: Someone has a cat and they rely on that dog. That dog is his/her whole world. One day, the dog dies. Suddenly, he/she doesn't think he/she has anything to live for. He/she decides the whole world is against him/her and there is nothing in the world worth living for, thus taking his/her own life.

It's a sad story. Unfortunately, it happens all the time. It's not always a pet. Sometimes it a boyfriend or girlfriend, a job, a friend, a title, or a prized possession. This is could be why some people jump from relationship to relationship or someone always needs a pet (or another pet and another pet and so on).

Why is it that we don't rely on God?

Here's the thing. God is constant. He loves each and every one of us. He is never going to leave us. If we put our trust in Him and rely on Him, let our life depend on HIM, our hope will never be lost! Nothing on this earth can satisfy us like God and His love can. We can try to fill that hole with everything under the sun, but we will never find purpose in those things.

The purpose of life is to give glory to God. He created us. He is the only one that fulfil us. He made us to have relationship with Him, to give Him glory. If we aren't living for that, we aren't living for anything.

So, what are you relying on? Is it material things? (Yes, pets included.) Or are you truly relying on God?

Keep on keeping on.

<3 Elisabeth

So Many Thoughts!

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O.o

My brain is absolute craziness. Today, there are about a million thoughts running through my head. Everything from financials to planning events to things around the house to food. There is so much stuff going on in my head, I don't think it will all be able to come out! They are getting so mushed together.

I've been putting together the Jr. High Scoop, which is like a newsletter of the events that are going on, for the Youth Group. We are trying to do more with them and get the parents involved. This month, I'm planning the Scavenger Hunt and the students are wanting to go to God's Not Dead as well as go bowling together after church Sunday. And they want to go this month! I feel like I've escalated from just doing the newsletter to kind of planning the calendar for the Jr. High! I don't mind at all, but I also don't want to do it by myself. I need a sound board to bounce ideas off of like what even should/ could go where. I also don't want to overstep and "take over" the Jr. High from the youth minister. I definitely don't want to step on anyone's toes. So where is the balance? Thankfully, we are having a youth leader meeting soon and we can get this all ironed out. I hope.

As for the rest of the things in my head, we are looking at putting up shelves to get rid of the shelves we currently have. With that comes all the questions. What do we want them to look like? How much are we willing to spend? Where are we going to put them? Do we want hanging shelves or standing bookshelves or both? Are we going to make them or buy them? What dimensions do they need to be? Who has the best deal?

Along with that, my wonderful husband sold his car yesterday. It was sad, but we are looking for a truck which will be better in the long run. Unfortunately, that means we are down to one car. Thus, while he is at work, I'm stuck at home unless I drive him to work and pick him up. It's quite the predicament.

We are also thinking about getting a dog. A friend of ours doesn't have time for their precious dachshund terrier mix and Tanner has been really wanting a dog. She is already house trained, kennel trained, and knows a few tricks so we wouldn't have to worry about a whole lot of training. She also doesn't shed a whole lot, so that's a plus. But our backyard has some low spots, which we want to fix anyway, and we don't want to get her and not be able to afford everything. We'd also need someone to dog sit if we got her before Easter as we are headed to Dallas for that weekend.

With all these things running through my brain all at once, it's kind of a mess. Hopefully, I can get it sorted out soon. That would be nice.

Keep on keeping on.

Elisabeth

Thoughts of the day

Don't you hate when you start something and have to end it, knowing it was a bad idea in the first place? Because then you wonder what it would have been like if you'd kept it going, made it work, even with all the signs and the knowledge from the past telling you it would never work no matter what you did. That haunting feeling just sticks with you and weeps into your dreams, telling you it couldcantve worked and you could have been happy. It's crazy and stupid and illogical and your brain keeps telling you that, but you can't shake the feeling. You don't know what it is or even why you're thinking those things and you just want them to go away. Unfortunately, its not that easy... But it will pass in time. You just have to stick it out and forget about it. Forget about the dreams and the ridiculous hopes and move on. It doesn't matter what happened or why or when. One must just keep moving forward and looking forward to the future. Because the future has something in store for you that will be a billion times better than what you could ever hope for or dream of.