Immense Love

I was always told that there was nothing like a parent's love. I knew it was true, but I was never able to fully grasp it.

I married Tanner 6 years ago. I love him with all my heart! My love grew for him every day we have been married (and still does). I couldn't imagine loving anyone with more intensity than I loved him. Eden proved me wrong.

I still love and adore my husband. He is the BEST. But when I look at our daughter, our Eden... my heart literally feels like it is simultaneously melting and exploding! There was no way to fully understand the love a parent feels until you are one, holding your child in your arms. There really is nothing like it. And, to be honest, it wasn't until she was in my arms that the love I had for her fully manifested.

Of course I loved Eden while she was in my womb. I whispered that I loved her to my growing belly frequently. My heart grew when she wiggled and kicked and when we saw all her movements during the ultrasound. But when she was put into my arms, when the little person growing inside me was suddenly in my arms, it was like my heart burst. She was here. She was alive in my arms, looking at me with sweet newborn eyes. There was a nurse by me tending to her, Tanner was next to me as soon as he cut the cord, but all I saw was her. All I felt was her delicate skin against mine. It was love as I'd never felt it before. Due to all that went on, I still didn't grasp the magnitude of it until a few days later, when I wasn't fogged by pain meds or in a completely sleep deprived state (thanks to my parents for letting us get some much needed sleep 💗). Still to this day, I'll look at her and feel my love for her grow exponentially.

How much greater is God's love for us! He is our heavenly Father! He MADE us! He knows WAY more about me than I know about my daughter. Being Eden's mother has given me just a GLIMPSE of the immense love He has for me. I mean.. wow. There really is NOTHING like the love of a parent. And there is certainly NOTHING like the love of God. He IS love. Just wow. 💛

My Little Eden

Dear Eden,

Right now, a month ago today, you were born and placed into my arms. I cried when I held you. You were so beautiful. My heart burst at that moment and it hasn't stopped. Each day you've grown more beautiful, and each day my love for you has grown. Your father and I love you so much! I love being your mom. You are also loved SO immensely by your whole family and our church family. They couldn't wait to meet you and you were immediately adored.

You're growing so fast! Last week you were 10 pounds 3 ounces! You're 3 ounces shy of having gained 2 whole pounds! You're also getting so good at lifting your head up, and you give the best after bottle cuddles. I am absolutely loving watching you grow. You're coos are just the cutest and you're smiling more and more every day. You have so many expressions. I often find myself wondering what you are thinking or dreaming.

I thank God for you, Eden. I hope that you feel all of the love that we have for you. Though it is insignificant compared to the love God has for you. Never forget just how much you are loved by Him, or by us. (I know there will be times in your life when it doesn't seem like it because we are just being "so unfair", but even then, we love you with all of our heart.)

Love Always,

Your Mom 🖤

The 2018 Whirlwind Roller Coaster

I've probably said it a million times and I'll probably say it a million times more.. Time FLIES!

This year has just been a whirlwind so far. And it pretty much all started in February when Tanner found out that I was carrying our first child. ^_^ We are so excited! Since then it's just been crazy town! (And I'm not talking about my emotions. :P )

Of course we hit a bump in the road early on.. we found out I was pregnant on a Monday morning, and Friday evening we found ourselves in the emergency room. Apparently, I had a pocket of blood near/in the placenta and it was draining. Thankfully, the doctor told me it was completely normal and that most women have them and never know they do as they don't always drain. They did an ultrasound and baby was right on track and all was well.

This Thursday will mark 25 weeks of pregnancy! We found out about a month ago, that our baby is a little girl. We are SO excited! Eden is already so very loved and cherished, and we can't wait to hold her in October. ^_^

In between all of this was the women's retreat, preparing for camp next week, my 26th birthday was this past Friday, we had our gender reveal party the weekend before that.. it's been a wild roller coaster!

But in it all, Tanner and I hold strong to God and know that he is with us and is providing for us. He is taking care of us and our beautiful baby girl. All is in his timing and his timing is wonderfully perfect.

I hope that whatever ride life has you on, that you hold fast to the one who made you, the one who knows every detail about you and loves you more than we can comprehend. He will take care of you and provide for all your needs. All you need is to trust him, lean on him, and know that his timing is perfect.