Exhausted

I have the best job in the world. Being a stay-at-home mom is really the best.

It's also the hardest job in the world.

There are no words of wisdom or warnings or anything that could have prepared me enough for this job. Especially now that my wonderful 9 (closer to 10! 😭 ) month old is crawling and pulling up on everything. And trust me when I say, I was warned and I believed all the warnings.

My job is the most rewarding and the most exhausting. Because it's not just about raising her, and keeping her fed, and changed, and bathed, and healthy, and out of trouble, and alive. Nope. It also means that I am the manger of the house. Which means keeping the house clean (and hopefully company ready), doing the dishes, doing the laundry (and putting it away), doing the budget and paying the bills and managing our finances (because I'm the nerd and it's just what I do), making dinner, planning meals, grocery shopping, keeping the calendar (again.. I just like to be organized and make sure we don't double book or anything), and organizing the house. Then, of course, I have to take care of myself! Which means, making sure I eat (healthy), getting some exercise in, and making sure to take a shower hopefully once a day, and try to squeeze in some me time so I don't go completely insane. By the end of the day, I don't want to do anything except sit on the couch and watch something or read a book.

And as an insight, as I write this, I still haven't gotten my exercise or shower in.. so I'm still in my workout clothes..

And let me tell you. There is nothing like a small child to open your eyes to the mess and chaos of your home. It doesn't matter if you have hardwood (or a look-a-like), tile, concrete, or carpet; your floors are dirty. SO dirty. I am struggling to even wrap my brain around how to get my floors clean so I don't have to wipe her little hands and feet off all the time. Because I can't just vacuum them.. No.. That would be too easy. With my downstairs (which is where we are 99.99% of the time), we have vinyl that looks like hardwood. (I struggle to see why it's such a fad..) So, not only do I have to vacuum or sweep the floors, I have to mop them as well! Add all of her toys and such that I need to pick up or do something with before I clean the floors and my brain just spazzes out.
(Seriously.. give me carpet any day over these floors.. not to mention, carpet is softer to fall on. 😛 Though I do understand them in the eating, bathroom, and kitchen areas.)

It doesn't stop at the floors either! They learn to pull up, and you realize even more that the nicely organized shelves are no longer safe for.. well.. anything. So, now you need to find a new place in your home or buy new furniture so you have a safe place for the things in those now easy to reach places. For example. I have craft shelves with gel pens and cards and such. There is currently and obstacle in front of these, yet my dear Eden has still managed to find a way to try and grab them. So, I'm shopping storage furniture as there isn't another good place for these things.

It's enough to make one dizzy or go mad. And I'm exhausted.

This is where I take a deep breath.

Because I'm not doing all of this completely alone. I have a wonderful husband who works daily to bring home paychecks to make this all possible. I couldn't be home with our baby girl if it wasn't for him. He's the best.

I have friends and family that are willing to help if only I'd reach out to them and ask. (I'm really bad at asking...)

And most importantly, I have God on my side. He is the giver of life and peace and the great provider. He is mighty!

So, if you read this and can empathize with my plight. If you can relate on so many levels. If it sounds like exactly what you're going through as well. First of all, you're amazing! Remember that you are loved and that you have the almighty God on your side. He will lift you up and walk right beside you. Reach out to your family and friends when you are feeling overwhelmed and in over your head. (I know I need to.) You're not alone. We are better together.

And if you have any helpful suggestions on any of my predicaments, seriously, leave a comment! Shoot me a message! Find a way to let me know! Because I'm all ears! 99% of the time, you know something that I would never have thought of in a million years. So, thank you in advance!

To all of my exhausted parent friends out there, you got this. Keep on keeping on.

So Many Thoughts!

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O.o

My brain is absolute craziness. Today, there are about a million thoughts running through my head. Everything from financials to planning events to things around the house to food. There is so much stuff going on in my head, I don't think it will all be able to come out! They are getting so mushed together.

I've been putting together the Jr. High Scoop, which is like a newsletter of the events that are going on, for the Youth Group. We are trying to do more with them and get the parents involved. This month, I'm planning the Scavenger Hunt and the students are wanting to go to God's Not Dead as well as go bowling together after church Sunday. And they want to go this month! I feel like I've escalated from just doing the newsletter to kind of planning the calendar for the Jr. High! I don't mind at all, but I also don't want to do it by myself. I need a sound board to bounce ideas off of like what even should/ could go where. I also don't want to overstep and "take over" the Jr. High from the youth minister. I definitely don't want to step on anyone's toes. So where is the balance? Thankfully, we are having a youth leader meeting soon and we can get this all ironed out. I hope.

As for the rest of the things in my head, we are looking at putting up shelves to get rid of the shelves we currently have. With that comes all the questions. What do we want them to look like? How much are we willing to spend? Where are we going to put them? Do we want hanging shelves or standing bookshelves or both? Are we going to make them or buy them? What dimensions do they need to be? Who has the best deal?

Along with that, my wonderful husband sold his car yesterday. It was sad, but we are looking for a truck which will be better in the long run. Unfortunately, that means we are down to one car. Thus, while he is at work, I'm stuck at home unless I drive him to work and pick him up. It's quite the predicament.

We are also thinking about getting a dog. A friend of ours doesn't have time for their precious dachshund terrier mix and Tanner has been really wanting a dog. She is already house trained, kennel trained, and knows a few tricks so we wouldn't have to worry about a whole lot of training. She also doesn't shed a whole lot, so that's a plus. But our backyard has some low spots, which we want to fix anyway, and we don't want to get her and not be able to afford everything. We'd also need someone to dog sit if we got her before Easter as we are headed to Dallas for that weekend.

With all these things running through my brain all at once, it's kind of a mess. Hopefully, I can get it sorted out soon. That would be nice.

Keep on keeping on.

Elisabeth

No good, really crudy, completely horrible day.

Have you ever had a day where everything seems to be against you? Like nothing can go right? Well, that was my day. I am exhausted and stressed and worn out. I mean, I only have six days of classes left to bring my grades up to A's. And my teachers are giving me projects, and I'm up at the school until six thirty or later everyday, and then I come home and try to do homework...

Like today, I was down because I didn't get to show my music video in class today, that I am extremely proud of, because we ran out of time. Well, then I go to practice, hoping I get another solo for Muse in "Mamma, I'm a Big Girl Now," only to find out that I'm just the mom who hardly does anything and the girls that got the solos are the ones who usually get the solos. I mean, how am I supposed to shine if I don't get any opportunites to do so?

So I get in the car and I'm already crying... but then I get home and there are a bunch of people in my kitchen. My mom was hosting a Pampered Chef party and I totally forgot. So I quickly walked back to my room so that no one could see my face and I could go cry in the privacy and darkness of my room. When my face cleared and my sobbing stopped, I joined them and had a good talk with my aunt Cristy. :) The brownies were delicious.

After everyone left, I had to do my Bible project. I had to look up a religon and find out stuff about it so that I can present it to the class. I found one that looked fairly easy and found a few good sites, e-mailed them to myself... and I basically going to wing it. My brain is maxed out to do anything more. Plus, I need to get the huge photoshop portfolio done. Xp

So yeah... that how my life is at the moment. One of the girls, who does most of the choreography, is doing a dance call at her house on Saturday. From my understanding, it's if you need any help. My plan is to sleep in.. plus, I don't know where her house is. lol! Anyway, I need some sleep... and some relaxation...