Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Stay Real

There's this guy. He has a blog. His blog is about his journey to loose weight. I know what you're thinking. Every blog about loosing weight or fitness is all about tips and tricks and all positive, full of "You can do it!" or "I got this!" or "Exercise is fun!"

His blog is refreshing because it doesn't have ANY of that! He is so real that some of his blog posts are about how he is struggling or how angry he is, or how he FEELS ALONE.

I can't tell you how awesome that is. You KNOW how awesome that is! For someone to put their REAL feelings out there, to commit to being open and honest and not sugar coating anything! To blatantly say, "This sucks!"

In my opinion, that's what I want to read. It tells me that I am not alone in feeling down or in a funk or just plain sad.

He is an inspiration for all of us to simply stay real. It doesn't matter what other people think. At least we can't be called fakers if we are honest about what is going on.

Read his blog here. It's not professional, but it's real, it's honest.

Most of all, stay real.

To Jeff Bobb, thank you for being real.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Positivity Struggles

This past week has been met with many a thing. Tanner and I were glad it was finally the weekend and things looked bright! We spent the day playing video games and relaxing, but finally got stir-crazy enough that we decided we'd use that extra money left in July's budget (woot!) for restaurants to go out and get a snack since it was happy hour at Sonic.

There we decided finally get my car washed! I suggested we check out the family owned place that dries your car after it goes through the wash. We get there, pay for the wash in which they clean out the car. A few minutes after we had been inside, one of the guys comes in wondering whose red Pontiac they had. Tanner stood up and the guy said, "You have a flat tire."

This surprised us both. We hadn't heard anything, the tires didn't look flat at all when we got out. Suspiciously, Tanner went out and checked it out with them. Turns out my car got out of alignment and my two front tires were worn to the belt.

Thankfully, Tanner had the good jack in the back and he got the spare on the one that was flat so they could get it through the wash. My wonderful husband came back inside, frustrated, and told me what happened. My heart sunk. Tanner kept telling me it was a miracle that we had driven on it without anything happening for so long, but all I could think about was that we were going to need to buy two new tires (at least) and we were still working on getting our $1000 emergency fund back in place to complete Dave Ramsey's Baby Step 1 so we could move on to Baby Step 2 which is tackling our debt!

They finished my car and we went outside only to find new scratches on my car door. Both the passenger side, and the driver side.
Passenger door scratches.

Driver door scratch (gouge).
Unfortunately, we didn't see the extent until we got home and thus there was no point in going back. Tanner is also not completely sure they the scratches happened there. Add on to that the tires that could blow any minute if we drove on them.

I cried the whole way home. He was trying to stay positive and all I could do was cry because we were going to have to use our emergency fund once again. (We had to use most of it, since we had actually complete Baby Step 1, last month for Tanner's wisdom teeth removal. Though God provided there too so we had plenty to cover it and we got to pay in cash so we got the cash discount! :D )

It seemed hopeless. I felt as though we were never going to get to Baby Step 2 and we would always be stuck on Baby Step 1 thus we wouldn't get out non-mortgage debt paid off until 2027 or something crazy like that. It seemed Murphy's law had struck again. It seemed like Murphy was here to stay.

Sunday, I was still pretty down. As I got ready for church, my eye started to hurt. I tried all my usual tactics but I started to fear it was my contact. I refused to take them out, much to Tanner's displeasure, and we headed off to church. I suffered through the pain all through class and worship and our youth small group. We got home and Tanner had forgotten as I hadn't said anything for a while. SO, we sat and played video games until I said something about it hurting and he threatened to turn the game off if I didn't take them out.

Begrudgingly, I went upstairs and took the one that was hurting out first. Tanner came up with me, probably make sure I actually did it. :P

OH THE PAIN! Normally it hurts a little if I take out a contact that has been bothering me simply because the eye is irritated. But this! This was SO much worse! My eye watered and it was hard to keep it open! I told Tanner, "It feels like there is still something on my eye!"

I managed to pry it open and touch my eye where I felt something. I looked at my finger and there WAS something still in my eye! To me it looked like a piece of plastic, but Tanner informed me it was more likely some polyester or something.

In all that process, I realized that I had been wearing my last pair of contacts. It was time to order more. Another thing the emergency fund was going to have to cover since contacts are SO expensive and we hadn't planned for that expense. I was able to use what was left for July, as it would have gone into the fund anyway, so I didn't have to pull so much out.

Thus, for the last couple days I have been in a HUGE slump. I was having to wear my glasses so my eyes could heal (and if you know me, you know how much I HATE wearing glasses), we found out that my tire size is such a weird size that hardly anyone carries them in stock, we were looking  at the cost of buying the tires, getting them balanced and such, and then getting an alignment done; it was like the bad was never ending.

Tanner has been staying positive. He realizes the fact that it's not a big deal because we DO have the money we do set aside for these types of things. If we hadn't just gone through Financial Peace University, this would have devastated us and it would have had to go on one of the credit cards because we wouldn't have had the money. Tanner knows that we are going to be okay and that God is going to take care of us. He knows that as long as we stick to the plan, we will be back on track and tackling the debt in no time.

I know all of this to be true. I know that God is going to take care of us. However, I'm struggling to be grateful. I'm struggling to stay positive. I don't have my car to drive, we are having to carpool everyday in Tanner's truck (he drives to his work and then I drive to mine, then back to his work and he drives home), I was wearing my glasses (which of the two pairs I have, were the not a good pair since the lenses are apparently smaller, found that out last night), AND I couldn't eat anything yesterday because I had my medical exam thing for the life insurance I am getting. (Tanner had his done last week for his insurance.)

Today is a little better, though it started out rough due to my contacts being fuzzy while my eyes adjusted and waking up with the same headache I got in the middle of the night last night. I got some food in my stomach, and then coffee, my contacts cleared up and I'm okay. Yesterday, we got my contacts AND tires ordered! Tires will be here Monday and contacts on Thursday.

I'm slowly regaining my positivity. It's been a struggle though, and I'm not sure why. I guess I need to try and focus on the good. I need to focus on God... He is my comforter, I just have to truly believe it and seek Him.
Psalm 23:1-3
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.