"Hate your Father and Mother."

This past Sunday I looked over during worship and saw one of our friends with his grandson. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces. It was the cutest thing, and while I was filled with joy at watching them, my heart sunk. I SO LONG for that to be Eden and her grandparents!

But a thought occurred to me as I watched them and wallowed in my longing. It was almost audible.

"Hate your Father and Mother."

Which I acknowledged as a reference to Luke 14:26.

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (ESV)

I have always had difficulty with the verse because I love so deeply. I understood it as in comparison to my love of Christ my love of my family looks like hate, but it always bothered me a little.

But sitting there in the "pew" chair feeling sad that I wasn't closer to family, I had a realization of what that verse meant. Doing ministry is almost equivalent to "hating" my father and mother.

God has us here in this place for a specific reason. He has a plan for us, and that plan has us here. Tanner is now Ministry Leader of the Youth and is working alongside of the Youth Minister while he works on his Bible degree through Harding University's online program. I am still involved with the youth and the women's ministry as much as I can be with our delightful baby girl.

I can not do what God has called me to do if I am caught up in longing to be somewhere else. If I am preoccupied with wishing that I lived closer to my parents (or his parents), I can not spread the love of Christ to those around me.

So, as much as I want to be closer to my family, I will be happy with the times I can see them and choose to focus on where I am and what God has for me to do. He put me here for a reason and I know he has big plans for me and my family. I just have to remember to focus on HIM first so that he can use me to spread his Kingdom.

"...for Kings and All Who Are in High Positions..."

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

- 1 Timothy 2:1-4

As I read these verses in my Bible study yesterday, a couple of things occurred to me. The first being that not only do I need to pray for other people, but that I need to be lifting up supplications, intercessions, and thanksgivings for them as well. For those like me who hear the word supplication and somewhat get the gist of what it means but don't actually know what it means, I looked up the definition.

Supplication: the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly.

Inserting that definition into the text, it makes lifting people up like this look a lot different. It's not a "oh yeah, I pray for this person for this. Okay cool. Thanks." It becomes a deeper, "Dear holy God, I come to you humbly on behalf of this person, lifting them up to you for this reason that your will shall be done in their life and I pray for this outcome and that all the glory be to you." It's a whole different meaning, a different demeanor.

The other thing that I realized is that Paul is telling Timothy to lift the kings and rulers up in prayer, alongside with everyone else, that they too come to know Jesus and live a peaceful, quiet, godly, and dignified life. In that day and time, that meant Caesar! That meant the officials that persecuted fellow believers! That's a big deal! Of course this is in line with what we see Jesus taught his folowers in what I read today, Luke 6:27-28:

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you."

So what does this mean for us? We are to pray for our leaders no matter who they are. That means President Trump. That means his predecessor, President Obama when he was in office. And it means the person that will come after President Trump. We are to honor them and lift them up in prayer that God will work through them and for HIS will to be done. We are to pray for them so that they too may lead a "peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way."

It's time to stop the hate. It's time to start praying. It doesn't matter if you like people or not, what they do isn't up to you. You're reaction is. Get down on your knees and pray for people, that they may also know the amazing, life giving, gift of grace from God, our Savior Jesus Christ who died on a cross to redeem us from sin. I pray that you will strive every day to look more like Jesus, just as I am. For I am not a perfect person, but I pray that God will work His will in and through me. For by myself I can do nothing, but it is Christ who works within me.

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

- Philippians 2:13

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

- Galatians 2:20

"If You Can't Say Something Nice..."

It has been a week since the election. Social media has been on fire since Trump became our President-elect. I have seen and heard so many things that have made my blood boil and made me bite my tongue. Riots in the streets, burning the American flag, name calling (from both sides), hate-filled speech; it seems many Americans have gone crazy about the results. I personally don't understand it all.

The election is over. Trump won. Life goes on.

What is done is done. There is no changing it now. Why waste time and energy "protesting"? We could be using that energy to make America, or the world, a better place. Hate never changed anything.  Even some of those who supported Trump are saying and doing things that are highly inappropriate. You can't know a person by how they act or look. Stop judging people and start listening and loving. There are many people who are here legally, and just because someone believes something different than you does not make them wrong or bad. Perhaps we all need to take a page out of Thumper's book.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

Kindness can change the world. Hate only destroys. So maybe before you speak, think about how the words you say affect those around you. Will your words spread love and kindness, bringing about peace? Or will they spread discord and hate, dividing us further?

If Thumper doesn't convince you, consider this:

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are you love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." - John 13:34-35

Jesus commands us to love one another. If we aren't loving, we aren't obeying and we aren't exemplifying Jesus. We are all one in the eyes of God. It doesn't matter who you are, who you voted for, or what you've done. God loves each and every one of us and asks us to love him and others as he does.

So I ask you again, are you spreading love or hate? Are you striving for peace and unity or are you simply destroying and dividing?

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:9-21

Am I Enough?

Recently I watched a video on RightNow Media called "Am I Enough?" It showed three women in different stages of life wondering if they were enough. We all ask that question, don't we? We go throughout our day wondering if we are good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, enough for our husband, our kids, our jobs. We even wonder if we are spiritual enough.

The video ended with a man's voice reading verses such as, "I am the way the truth and the life." - John 14:6 "[I] am near to all who call upon my name." - Psalm 145:18 "[My] mercies are new every morning." - Lamentations 3:22-23 "[My] love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Then the voice asks, "Am I enough?"

That struck me. God should be enough for me. Why am I not living that way? He is my father, my Lord, my savior. He loves me more than I could ever imagine. He died for me while I was still a sinner. He says I am more than enough.

Why do I doubt Him? Why do I still wonder if I am enough? Why am I not trusting fully what He says?

You are enough. You are loved. Continually choose to trust what your Father says about you. You are His heir and He chose you! How could we ever doubt that we are enough when the creator of all the universe looks upon us with such love and joy?

Perhaps we just forget. Let this be a reminder. Let us remember that we are more than enough because we were chosen by God! Let's put it on our ceiling above our bed so it is the first thing we see in the morning. Then we will never have to ask "am I enough" ever again!

The Battlefeild

Last Friday I had a friend pray over me. She and I have been talking for a while about the struggles of life and the spiritual battlefield. She told me her story and she is helping me grow and understand more.

This weekend Tanner and I went on the youth group Beach Retreat. On our way there I was sitting there thinking and, for some reason, my mind wandered back to elementary school. I had this insane realization.

I was baptized just after I turned 8. I remember talking to my parents about it on the way to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and them offering to pull over and find some water right then. I remember telling them that I could wait until we attended church that Sunday (which ever one we decided to attend in Arkansas). I remember that day being so excited, not realizing when the invitation song was sung, and thus being very distraught when service was over. I remember my dad explaining it to me and going forward to the preacher anyway so that I could. I remember the smile on my face and my dad's strong and stead hand on my back. I remember my feet coming off the ground a little and how I mentally freaked out a little while I was under the water, scared I was going to fall. I remember all the hugs and the older ladies asking if I would like to partake in the Lord's Supper, them bringing it to me. I remember the love and the joy on that day.

Little did I know, I stepped prominently onto battlefield at the moment I came up from the water.

In the fall, I started 3rd grade at a new school. I sat by a girl who talked to me and became a friend. Unbeknownst to me, Satan would use that friendship against me. That year and the two after (3rd - 5th) were filled with torment. I was bullied and torn down. My grandpa got sick and died and I felt guilty that the last time I was at his house I threw up on his floor. And when I was sad because he was sick and I told my friend, she tried to one up me saying that she had bruises on her bottom from being whipped. I learned to keep my mouth shut because it felt like no one cared.

I left Elementary School wounded, scared, and guarded.

Time after time Satan used my friends to wound and scar me. I built up walls to guard my heart, determined to not get hurt again, yet desperately desired for someone to break past them and take care of my heart. I became shy, broken, and reserved.

I didn't realize that those walls would hinder my relationship with my mom, my dad, my sister, and ultimately my heavenly Father. 14 years later I am still battling those walls and the fear that came with those wounds. I struggle with letting people in. It is only by God's power that my wonderful husband, Tanner, made it past those walls.

This realization made my jaw drop and my eyes widen. For the first time, I saw the battlefield. I had this thought of wishing someone had taught me how to put on the armor of God instead of just about it.

So, this weekend I opened myself to God. I wanted to break the walls down, but I knew I needed his help. I knew it would only be through Him that I would find healing. During our time of silence the first day I mentally said, "Here I am, Lord. Use me."

That night, the speaker, Mark, invited us to once again take a breath and just listen. Again, I said mentally, "Here I am, Lord. Use me." I was sitting there just listening when I heard a not quite audible voice, but it was distinctly, "You are beautiful, my child." Tears shot to my eyes and I reeled mentally for a moment. Had I really heard something? Did I just make it up? But I remembered my friends story and how she had heard something before too. So, I accepted it, blinking back tears.

When Mark started talking, he showed pictures of a groom seeing his bride for the first time on their wedding day. He made the point that this is how God sees us. He is our groom and we are so beautiful to him. Of course, I started crying because it was so beautiful. (Though when he first started showing the pictures I had a brief moment of wishing I had the picture I thought I was getting of Tanner seeing me. And then I remembered what my mom had described and an image came into my head and I was really happy. Note: I couldn't see the whole way down the aisle due to my contacts.)

When Mark stopped talking, there was a silence to let everything soak in. So, I sat, lifted my head up to the sky, and once again said, "Here I am, Lord. Send me." I didn't hear anything and so I just went into praise. "You are my God. You are my Savior, the Lover of my soul." In the middle of a praise, I was cut off. "I am here. I have always been here. Seek and you will find." Then I felt something. It was like arms were wrapped around me, but not just my body, my heart. I felt free and joyful. Tears streamed down my face. God was with me. He was here and he wasn't going to leave me. I wanted to hug anyone who got near even if I didn't know them (I didn't).

I also got this image in my head. At first I was kneeling down at His throne in Sparta like warrior garb. But then, it was like He lifted me up and I was as His side dressed in a white Grecian style dress with the floor-length style skirt, it was sleeveless but had thick, tank-top like, graceful sleeves. The top was silver in that it was like armor. I had on the classic tall, Roman, sandals. It was beautiful. I was not just a warrior, but a warrior princess.

I got to talk to Tanner about it and he said something along the lines of that God was showing me that He had been with me all along, through all of the hurt. Tanner held me as I cried some more, grieving the time I spent breaking God's heart in my search for healing as I built my walls, distancing myself and then wondering where He was.

Every morning, now, I try to make time to pray and listen. I make sure to arm myself, and every time I pray on the armor of God I see that image I did Saturday night, the warrior princess.

I pray that you will find peace in Him and that you will find your healing in Him. For God is with you and no one can be against you. God has already won the war.

The Love of God

Do you know the extent of God's love for you?

You may say, "Well, yes. He is my Father."

Guess what? He loves you MORE than just a father. It's true, a father's love is insanely deep. However, not only does God want to be your Father, he wants to be the lover of your soul!

Let's go back to the scripture for a moment. You remember in Genesis there is this guy named Abram, whose name gets changed to Abraham. He makes a covenant with God and from Abraham and Sarah come the Israelites. It's a story we are told as kids, right? Minus the bloody, nasty parts, of course. Don't want kids throwing up or having nightmares now, do we! But isn't everything in the bible important? Of course. In fact, it's actually an integral part of the story! (A lot of my knowledge comes from Ray Vander Laan. If you want to check out his stuff go to www.followtherabbi.com.)

In Genesis 15, Abram asks God how he would know that God would give him all the things God has promised. (This is called chutzpah is Hebrew, which is like persistence. But I won't get into that right now.) So God tells Abram to go get a cow, a goat, a ram. a dove, and a pigeon. What he doesn't tell Abram is what to do with them. However, Abram apparently already knows what to do. This tells us that this was a cultural ritual. (It still is in some places.) What this ritual was is that terms would be made between men and they would agree on the terms, unless it was between a greater party and a lesser party in which the greater party will set the terms. They would then kill the animals and place them where the blood would pool in a valley. Once there was a river of sorts, they would each pick up their tunics, take off their sandals, and walk through the blood. In doing this each would be saying, "If I break my promise, you can do this to me." ("This" being killing and walking in the blood.)

Gross, right? No wonder they didn't tell us this part in Sunday morning Bible class! But if we think about it, God's willingness to do this ritual for Abram's sake shows his immense love! He is the God of the universe for goodness sake. He could have just said, "Because I said so!"

So let's continue with what the text says. Abram then waits for God, making sure the birds of prey stay away from the carcasses. (Again, gross!) The sun starts going down and Abram falls asleep. In his sleep, he realizes what his end of the bargain is, to be blameless, and he because terrified. No kidding. Abram knew that if he even stuck his little toe in that blood, he was a dead man and the promises God had for him would be no more. So, then a smoking pot "walks" through the blood. (This would have been a pot with holes in it that women would have in their tents to put the burning coals in from that days fire and put the top on. It would then smoke all night and the women would then pour out the coals the next morning to make the next days fire with.) This represents God as the greater party would always go first. Thus, it was Abram's turn. The text doesn't say this, but it's as if he walked up to the valley and God, the torch, and moved him out of the way saying, "No wait. I've got this." God walks through the blood a second time. God is saying, "If YOU break YOUR promise, YOU can do this to ME."

At this moment, Jesus was sentenced to death on the cross.

Let that sink in for a moment.

When I told that to the Jr. High students at church Wednesday and their minds were blown. They couldn't believe that no one had connected those dots and told them about it before!

There's more. "What?" Oh yeah!

Fast forward to Exodus. Moses has lead the Israelites out of Egypt and they have stopped at Mount Sinai. This is where I think, "Oh, yeah. This is where God gives the ten commandments!" There's more to the story. This isn't just where God sets ten rules the Israelites have to follow. This is a wedding. God marries his people. The ten commandments weren't two tables with 5 on each one, it was 10 on each, a Ketubah, a contract. This is still practiced in Jewish wedding today, Instead of having vows, the bride and groom will write up a contract each to God of what kind of a husband and wife each will be. Ray Vander Laan read the first one, "You shall have no other idols before me" in this new light as so: "I will have no other lovers."

Powerful, right? "Didn't something happen with the Israelites while Moses was on the Mountain?" Yes. The golden calf. See, while Moses was getting the Ketubah from God, the Israelites decided that he wasn't coming back and so they needed a new god. They melted down their earrings and from it made a golden calf and started worshiping it, throwing a big party. (We won't get into what kind of party it was, but I will say it wasn't G rated. Even Ray Vander Laan didn't want to get into it.)

Fun fact: instead of wedding rings on their fingers, the Hebrews would wear rings in their ears, earrings. Wait, what did they melt down? Their earrings. Their wedding rings. During the wedding between God and his people, his people cheat on Him! You'd think he'd be done with them. Seriously, if it was my wedding and I found out something like that, the wedding would be off! But God doesn't do that. He keeps loving them! He purifies them and then the wedding resumes.

Now that is love. Pure love. Not just from a Father but from a spouse who loves unconditionally and intimately. To know that this is the kind of love that God has for us, and not just the Father/Child relationship that everyone talks about, speaks deeply to me!

Think about our young girls! For them to know that they can be fulfilled in every way because they have a God that loves them as a beautiful bride could be life-changing! They could know that they don't need to look for love from outside sources, from boys their age who are struggling with the same things that they are. Plus, thinking back on my own life, I think I may have looked at some things differently if I had thought of God as my husband and not just my Father. God is our Father, but he is also the lover of our souls. Yes, lover. He wants to know us as deeply as a spouse. Deeper even!

I think that this thought might bring a new perspective to our girls as they look at their relationship with God and what they do with their lives. It sets a new light on "God is always with you." It's no longer God the Father watching you and making sure you don't mess up and when you do He is going to punish you, it's more that God is with me because He loves me deeply and he WANTS to be with me, he CHOSE me.

There is a song by Francesca Battistelli called "He Knows My Name" in which the bridge says:

He calls me chosen
Free, forgiven
Wanted, child of the King
His forever
Held and treasured
I am loved.

Not only does this speak to being a child of God but, in my opinion, also a lover, a spouse, of God. Wanted, His Forever, Held and Treasured, Chosen, Loved; these are all things that a husband would say to his wife (and visa versa). My husband wants me, I am his forever, he holds and treasures me, he chose me, he loves me. As well, I want my husband, he is mine forever, I hold and treasure him, and I love him.

Imagine some things that girls fall into because of the world we live in. What if they had the mindset that when they start worshiping something besides him that they have cheated on him? How would that impact them? Would they still do some of the things the world likes to tempt them with? How does that impact you?!

Just as we all have a love language, God has a love language. His love language is obedience. Just as I feel loved when someone gets me a thoughtful gift, God feels loved when I obey His commands.

I will show God that I love Him by keeping His commandments. I know I am going to mess up, but I know that He is going to forgive me when I do. Because of His love I will strive to be blameless. His love is my motivation. He is the lover of my soul. Is He yours?

My Reflections on Youth Ministry.

My husband and I have been attending a class led by the youth minister at the congregation we attend on Sunday mornings. It's for those who are interested in volunteering/helping/leading the youth group. The class has really been great! It got me thinking about the common misconception of the youth ministers job.

I think that we have always thought of the youth minister as the one who takes care of the kids and makes them behave and takes them on trips and out of our hair for a while; that he should be connecting with every single kid in the youth group on a personal level no matter how big the group is. Basically, he's the guy that does everything. (With the help of his wife, of course.)

Here's the problem. He's only human.

He and his wife have a family of their own to take care of and discipline and spend time with as well! If he is teaching, planning trips, going on trips, taking care of our children, trying to keep them in line, etc., where does that leave his family?

We should re-evaluate what a youth ministers responsibilities are, yes? Yes.

So, should a youth minister be in charge of disciplining your child/teaching them what is right and wrong/ironing out your child to be a model citizen? No! That is YOUR job as a parent. Do NOT go to your youth minister and ask why your child is acting up! That's not what he is there for!

Should a youth minister connect with EVERY child on a personal level no matter how large the group? Absolutely not. He can't! There is no way to get to know every one of your kids and really bond with them! This is why he needs helpers! People like you and me who volunteer their time and get to know a handful of kids and focus our energy on those kids. The youth minister can only handle as much as you and I can. If I get to really know a handful of kids, and you get to know a handful of kids, and he gets to know a handful of kids, and so and so forth, pretty soon every kid will be connected with an adult figure on a deep personal level. They will have some one to look up to and come to when they need advice. Because if all they have is their friends and a youth minister who physically can not get to know them on that deep of a personal level, they will only turn to their friends who only have the maturity and knowledge on the level they have. So, don't leave your youth minister out there alone! Step up and help!

Should a youth minister teach the Bible? Yes!

Should a youth minister spread the gospel? Yes!

Should a youth minister plan trips and go with the kids on trips? Yes!

Should a youth minister make sure to spend quality time with his family and make sure that they have the attention and care that they need? YES!

With all of that being said, if you see your youth minister struggling or kids not getting engaged in the group, maybe this is our problem. Step up and help him out! He can't do everything.

Keep on keeping on. :)

Rich Young Ruler? Over-rated.

Today, I was in church, like I always am on Sunday mornings, unless I'm sick, and I was listening to the sermon about the rich, young ruler. And it struck me a little different. I've heard the story a million times, but this time I heard something else. The preacher talked about how when this guy who had everything came up to Jesus and asked what he needed to do to follow Him. After the ten commandments, Jesus tells this man to sell everything he posesses. The preacher said that he was sure that as this guy was walking away, he was slumped in grief. That he was thinking, "That's the one thing I can't do." Of course, Jesus then goes on to say how hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God. It was then that it struck me. I don't want to be a rich young ruler. I would rather have just enough to take care of everything and be humble and content with what I have, than have everything I could have ever dreamed about dreaming about wanting and never be content or worse, lose my soul.

I grew up in a family that had plenty. I was never left wanting. Sure, I didn't think of us as rich, but others did. Now that I live on my own and know what it's like to have to pay bills and wonder if there is going to be enough for everything, I realize that we had it good. My parents and sister still do. But I also realized, I don't want to just be scraping by, but I also don't want to feel like I have more money than I could possibly do anything with. There's a happy medium in there, and I'm determined to find it.

If I do become a best-selling author someday and I am earning bundles and bundles of money, I'm going to find a good use for it. And it's not going to be on some big house or a cooler car or nicer clothes, ect. It's going to go to someone else who needs it more than I do. Who has kids that need new clothes or someone who might be a little short on money to pay the bills and feed themselves that month. I am determined to live in a house just big enough and be content with the blessing God sends my way. Never do I want to be a rich, young ruler.

Keep on keeping on,

Elisabeth

No good, really crudy, completely horrible day.

Have you ever had a day where everything seems to be against you? Like nothing can go right? Well, that was my day. I am exhausted and stressed and worn out. I mean, I only have six days of classes left to bring my grades up to A's. And my teachers are giving me projects, and I'm up at the school until six thirty or later everyday, and then I come home and try to do homework...

Like today, I was down because I didn't get to show my music video in class today, that I am extremely proud of, because we ran out of time. Well, then I go to practice, hoping I get another solo for Muse in "Mamma, I'm a Big Girl Now," only to find out that I'm just the mom who hardly does anything and the girls that got the solos are the ones who usually get the solos. I mean, how am I supposed to shine if I don't get any opportunites to do so?

So I get in the car and I'm already crying... but then I get home and there are a bunch of people in my kitchen. My mom was hosting a Pampered Chef party and I totally forgot. So I quickly walked back to my room so that no one could see my face and I could go cry in the privacy and darkness of my room. When my face cleared and my sobbing stopped, I joined them and had a good talk with my aunt Cristy. :) The brownies were delicious.

After everyone left, I had to do my Bible project. I had to look up a religon and find out stuff about it so that I can present it to the class. I found one that looked fairly easy and found a few good sites, e-mailed them to myself... and I basically going to wing it. My brain is maxed out to do anything more. Plus, I need to get the huge photoshop portfolio done. Xp

So yeah... that how my life is at the moment. One of the girls, who does most of the choreography, is doing a dance call at her house on Saturday. From my understanding, it's if you need any help. My plan is to sleep in.. plus, I don't know where her house is. lol! Anyway, I need some sleep... and some relaxation...