Do you understand? I didn't think so.

So, I have been grounded for over a month now. I know that from a punishment one is supposed to learn something. The thing that everyone fails to see is that I have learned from it. Yes, I did over use and miss use my phone. Yes, I did over use my computer. Yes, I did miss use my car. And I learned from that. I won't text on my phone all the time. I won't expect to be able to use my car all the time. I won't spend all day on the computer. But no one believes me. How I know? Because I've stated this and I still only have my itouch.

I am out of ideas. I am losing hope. And I don't know what else to do. This may sound grave and depressing, but is because that's just how it is... And how it has been lately. I can't write my stories. I can't take my sister out for snowcones. I can't see my boyfriend...

If they gave me any idea of how in the world I could get my phone and computer and car back, this may have been a different blog post altogether. Unfortunately, I have gotten absolutely none of that. Thus, this is how it is.

I'm back!! ... maybe...

Hey! So... I know I haven't been on in a while. There is a really good reason for that. In my family, you mess up once and you get grounded from everything until who knows when. So right now I just have my itouch. It took four weeks but I have it.

Anyway! My birthday has come and gone and I am now officially an adult! Woo hoo! Got my dl renewed, and I won't have to do it again until 2016!! And even then I can do it online. But yeah! So that's exciting. What isn't exciting is my boyfriend left with his dad, to go work for him... 6 hours away from here, the day after I came back from summer experience, which is where I got registered for my classes for college. O.o Anyway, I didn't know til that day and so, after already being on an emotional roller coster and being scared about college... I was in a slump and crying my eyes out... Er as much as I could while driving.

Of course then I went and saw Wicked... Second row, middle seats... In other words, AWESOME!!!! In other good news, I finally got my car rigged to play my itouch!! Woo hoo! No flipping through radio stations while driving to college!! Lol!

Anyway, that's what's been up with me lately. :)

Time flys...

Has it really been four years? Am I really done with high school? Wasn't it just last week I was starting high school? And yesterday that I started senior year? Wasn't it just a couple of days ago that I started dating Cris? Holy moly, how time flys.

Graduation is just around the bend... and I know this is only he beginning. Soon I'll be looking back on this post and graduating from college...

Wow... that's scary....

At any rate... goodnight for now... things are only going to get fast... O.o

BANG!!! Xp

... I don't even know where to begin. Well, this week has been crazy to begin with... having practice until seven and all. And then a truckload of work on top of that. Whoever came up with the idea that the teachers should assign major projects the last two days of last week and haven them due at the end of this week needs to be shot... somewhere non-lethal, of course.

Then there is this morning. I grabbed a poster board for English, since I can't really hook up with my partner after school, only to find out that she had an idea and was going to buy it at lunch today. And it didn't matter that I told her I have practice all this week from 4 to 7... because she still wanted to hook up after school and so I told her again today. Well, our project is due Thursday... so she told me that I could type up everything and she would put it all on the poster. I was already angry and upset and stressed enough... and after she said that... and I agreed (because what else was I going to say?)... I was ready to slam everything down and call it quits.

Oh! And I still don't have my car, so when I was trying to bring my dresses up here for theater, and dad can't get up here for lunch (because I have practice today at lunch... and oh yeah! No lunch. And, after seeing my boyfriend for the first time in four days, I won't get to see him because of it... XP) he tried to have me take them with me. Well, I don't have a dang place to put them!! And he got frustrated with them so some are off of their hangers! What the heck am I supposed to do?! But do my parents give me any leeway when it comes to grades and my car? NO!!! And dad is all like, "Yes, we are just mean." And I seriously just wanted to scream and cry!!

This is supposed to be a happy time! But no. I'm stressed as all get out, I want to not care but I can't, and I REALLY don't want to be home right now.

Of course, then there is all the thank you notes I have to write, the scholarship applications to fill out and complete, the job application I have to fill out for college so I can get a job with them and not worry about breaks and what-not - I am ready to give up all hope...

No good, really crudy, completely horrible day.

Have you ever had a day where everything seems to be against you? Like nothing can go right? Well, that was my day. I am exhausted and stressed and worn out. I mean, I only have six days of classes left to bring my grades up to A's. And my teachers are giving me projects, and I'm up at the school until six thirty or later everyday, and then I come home and try to do homework...

Like today, I was down because I didn't get to show my music video in class today, that I am extremely proud of, because we ran out of time. Well, then I go to practice, hoping I get another solo for Muse in "Mamma, I'm a Big Girl Now," only to find out that I'm just the mom who hardly does anything and the girls that got the solos are the ones who usually get the solos. I mean, how am I supposed to shine if I don't get any opportunites to do so?

So I get in the car and I'm already crying... but then I get home and there are a bunch of people in my kitchen. My mom was hosting a Pampered Chef party and I totally forgot. So I quickly walked back to my room so that no one could see my face and I could go cry in the privacy and darkness of my room. When my face cleared and my sobbing stopped, I joined them and had a good talk with my aunt Cristy. :) The brownies were delicious.

After everyone left, I had to do my Bible project. I had to look up a religon and find out stuff about it so that I can present it to the class. I found one that looked fairly easy and found a few good sites, e-mailed them to myself... and I basically going to wing it. My brain is maxed out to do anything more. Plus, I need to get the huge photoshop portfolio done. Xp

So yeah... that how my life is at the moment. One of the girls, who does most of the choreography, is doing a dance call at her house on Saturday. From my understanding, it's if you need any help. My plan is to sleep in.. plus, I don't know where her house is. lol! Anyway, I need some sleep... and some relaxation...