I am done with "Romance Reality" shows!

Out of pure curiosity, I have been watching "I Wanna Marry 'Harry'" and "The Bachelorette". Though "I Wanna Marry 'Harry'" ended well, I have found that I think these types of shows are the most rediculous. I have never liked shows like "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" and never understood why girls were so into them.

Now that I have actually watched a couple, I can see the appeal they can have. Fancy dates, romantic excursions, and enough drama to keep it interesting and to keep you guessing. However, the extent of the drama - especially when it's multiple girls vying for a guy - is absolutely insane! All these girls fighting and then acting like everything is okay in front of the guy, along with acting like they never said anything behind others backs or started fights because they wouldn't even dream of doing that. Thus lying to the guys face saying they didn't do those things when they CLEARLY did, claiming that they've been completely genuine...

I could rant for a while. It's classic high school drama played out by ladies in their 20's. It's sad really. It's sad because drama queens are out there and there are a lot of them. I don't understand the whole self-centered, entitled personality. I am not suggesting that girls are the only ones with this type of personality. Several men have it as well. It's a "Gaston" type of view. "I'm the best looking, so I should get the girl. I'm the obvious choice!" Disgusting.

I honestly feel bad for the people on those shows that aren't "drama queens" or "Gaston's". Usually, those are the girls or guys that get beaten on the most. If I was a single girl on one of those shows, I wouldn't want to act as if all the others were my friends. That makes no sense to me. So, I would be the one that would feel attacked all the time because the others wouldn't understand my lack of wanting to be friends with my competitors. (Honestly, who wants to be friends with someone who is vying for the attention of the same man as you?)

Clearly, I am not fond of these shows. Once "The Bachelorette" is over, I am so done. No more drama-filled, crazy, multi-date shows for me! I'll stick to the fiction syfy fun shows like "Castle", "Beauty and the Beast", "Grimm", and "Sherlock". ;)

For those of you who do like the dating shows, that is great! They just aren't for me. :)

Keep on keeping on!

Unboxings!

Recently I ordered a box from a few subscription box places! For two of them, I made an unboxing video! The boxes I got were a Madame Ladybug box (www.MadameLadybug.com), a Bonjour Jolie Mystery Box (www.BonjourJolie.com), and a Julep box (www.julep.com)!

Madame Ladybug is a time of the month box with extras to pamper yourself with. Bonjour Jolie is also a time of the month box but the box I got was a limited time Mystery Box in which they put things they had left over from other boxes and things that didn't make it into their normal boxes for some reason. Julep, however, is a beauty type box. I got their summer box which had nail polish and make-up inside.

I was really impressed by the things in these boxes! If I could, I'd get subscription boxes every month!!

So, here are the things I got in my boxes!

This is the video from my Bonjour Jolie Mystery Box Unboxing!

There were SO many great things in the box! And I LOVE how it was packed full of stuff! I was so happy to get the jewelry! I had just said earlier that week that I didn't have ANY gold-type necklaces!

As for my Julep box...

From left to right: Yellow nail polish, eyeliner sharpener, eyeliner (black on one side, brown on the other), gold nail polish, silver sparkle nail polish, aqua green nail polish, orange nail polish, pink purple nail polish, lipgloss, and two buffer blocks!

I LOVE the eyeliner (and sharpener!) as well as the lipgloss! I haven't tried any of the nail polishes yet, but I am loving the gold and silver colors! The ones in the three pack look very nice as well; I just don't see myself wearing them as often.

And last, but certainly not least, my Madame Ladybug box.

Unfortunately, I had some technical issues and thus the video is not a true unboxing. Love everything that came in this one as well! Most of the food is already gone! Haha!

Go check out these boxes for yourself and tell me what you think!!

Keep on keeping on!

<3 Elisabeth

So Many Thoughts!

Sdfghsdfgkjadfhgiuahelivbuaeflivuwhloijzbeiufblieauvglskjbfgiluaefglkjawbfuigdfuhgaldfvbiuaelfoighwaoiehf!!!

O.o

My brain is absolute craziness. Today, there are about a million thoughts running through my head. Everything from financials to planning events to things around the house to food. There is so much stuff going on in my head, I don't think it will all be able to come out! They are getting so mushed together.

I've been putting together the Jr. High Scoop, which is like a newsletter of the events that are going on, for the Youth Group. We are trying to do more with them and get the parents involved. This month, I'm planning the Scavenger Hunt and the students are wanting to go to God's Not Dead as well as go bowling together after church Sunday. And they want to go this month! I feel like I've escalated from just doing the newsletter to kind of planning the calendar for the Jr. High! I don't mind at all, but I also don't want to do it by myself. I need a sound board to bounce ideas off of like what even should/ could go where. I also don't want to overstep and "take over" the Jr. High from the youth minister. I definitely don't want to step on anyone's toes. So where is the balance? Thankfully, we are having a youth leader meeting soon and we can get this all ironed out. I hope.

As for the rest of the things in my head, we are looking at putting up shelves to get rid of the shelves we currently have. With that comes all the questions. What do we want them to look like? How much are we willing to spend? Where are we going to put them? Do we want hanging shelves or standing bookshelves or both? Are we going to make them or buy them? What dimensions do they need to be? Who has the best deal?

Along with that, my wonderful husband sold his car yesterday. It was sad, but we are looking for a truck which will be better in the long run. Unfortunately, that means we are down to one car. Thus, while he is at work, I'm stuck at home unless I drive him to work and pick him up. It's quite the predicament.

We are also thinking about getting a dog. A friend of ours doesn't have time for their precious dachshund terrier mix and Tanner has been really wanting a dog. She is already house trained, kennel trained, and knows a few tricks so we wouldn't have to worry about a whole lot of training. She also doesn't shed a whole lot, so that's a plus. But our backyard has some low spots, which we want to fix anyway, and we don't want to get her and not be able to afford everything. We'd also need someone to dog sit if we got her before Easter as we are headed to Dallas for that weekend.

With all these things running through my brain all at once, it's kind of a mess. Hopefully, I can get it sorted out soon. That would be nice.

Keep on keeping on.

Elisabeth

It's Back to School...

I'm going back to school. I'm thinking a business degree with a minor in photography or something. I bought a digital photography class off Groupon that I will start after my last day at Chick-fil-a and start college classes in the Fall. I've put the request in for my transcript from Harding, scoped out the community college here in Lafayette, scoped out what kinds of classes I will probably need, but here's where I get stuck. I don't even know where to start when it comes to financial aid.

There is also the part of me that wonders why I am even doing this, other than it was the catch in being able to quit my job. Everyone talks about how they loved college and they wish they could go back. My experience wasn't so great. I hated school. The homework, the classes, the stress of keeping grades where they need to be; it was the bane of my existence. My year at college is not one I look back on fondly. Granted I was dealing with a lot of pressure to make all A's, a boyfriend who slowly stopped talking to me, being drawn to drama queens as friends, and the loss of my car for not having higher grades. I remember feeling so alone. I was depressed. No matter how I tried to deny it. (More on that in my earlier blog What was Unknown is Now Blatantly Apparent.)

This time around, however, I have a loving husband who has already committed to helping me with any homework, a new sense of self, a firmer faith in God, and no desperation for friends who like me. Maybe this time I'll actually like college. I'm still nervous that I won't do well or that I'm picking the wrong degree, however. I guess we'll find out.

I am looking forward to cooking more again though! More home-cooked food for my wonderful husband! I'm already thinking about the things I'm going to make and how I'm going to organize the meals each week so I know what to buy for groceries. I'm thinking white rice and beef stroganoff, taco soup, homemade pizza, maybe some steak with mashed potatoes and peas, experiments with desserts; so many ideas! As well as my house being cleaner, even though I'm not really looking forward to cleaning. Cleaning is better than working at Chick-fil-a! Don't get me wrong, I love Chick-fil-a, but the one I am working out is going through some changes and so everything is just in chaos as far as working there. Of course, it doesn't help that my knee is giving me some real trouble. It's kind of a wake-up call when your knee hurts for a month and then it swells up and stays that way for (going on) two days. It is time for a change.

It looks like I am about to start a new chapter in my life. A chapter that hopefully is finished before a bigger chapter comes! I look forward to be a mom, but I'm not quite ready for that yet!

Keep on keeping on!

Fear of Being Nothing More

I am desperate. Desperate for a job that doesn't require my Saturdays, doesn't seem to erupt into chaos everyday or stench of tension. One that allows me to eat healthier than I have been. Perhaps a desk job. Something quiet and requires my organizational skills. Something creative and fun.

So, I do what anyone else would do and search. But then the fear sets in.

I don't have a lot of experience in the office work place. Most of my experience has been at a Pizza Place and a fast-food restaurant. I did work at a law firm, but for a short period of time.

What if I am doomed to be nothing more than a food worker? What if that is the only job I can ever get? What if the only way out is through becoming a mother when I can get a job watching someone else's children along with mine?

I fear I can't become anything more.

The depression hits as the desperation escalates. It's a never ending cycle of  desperation to depression and back again. Trying to claw my way out of the hole of food service. Feeling as though that very hole I have dug myself is doomed to be my grave.

"Elisabeth Ellsworth: Daughter, Sister, Wife, Friend, Food Service Employee."

What if none of my dreams become reality? What if I can never be the stay-at-home mother I always saw myself becoming? What if I can't be the mother I want to be because I'm still stuck at fast food job? What if my kids grow to resent me because I can't be at their games, or plays, or other events because I work Saturday's? What if...?

How do I make it stop?! How do I get out?!

"God, please help me find a way out..."

Keep on...