Stay Real

There's this guy. He has a blog. His blog is about his journey to loose weight. I know what you're thinking. Every blog about loosing weight or fitness is all about tips and tricks and all positive, full of "You can do it!" or "I got this!" or "Exercise is fun!"

His blog is refreshing because it doesn't have ANY of that! He is so real that some of his blog posts are about how he is struggling or how angry he is, or how he FEELS ALONE.

I can't tell you how awesome that is. You KNOW how awesome that is! For someone to put their REAL feelings out there, to commit to being open and honest and not sugar coating anything! To blatantly say, "This sucks!"

In my opinion, that's what I want to read. It tells me that I am not alone in feeling down or in a funk or just plain sad.

He is an inspiration for all of us to simply stay real. It doesn't matter what other people think. At least we can't be called fakers if we are honest about what is going on.

Read his blog here. It's not professional, but it's real, it's honest.

Most of all, stay real.

To Jeff Bobb, thank you for being real.

Positivity Struggles

This past week has been met with many a thing. Tanner and I were glad it was finally the weekend and things looked bright! We spent the day playing video games and relaxing, but finally got stir-crazy enough that we decided we'd use that extra money left in July's budget (woot!) for restaurants to go out and get a snack since it was happy hour at Sonic.

There we decided finally get my car washed! I suggested we check out the family owned place that dries your car after it goes through the wash. We get there, pay for the wash in which they clean out the car. A few minutes after we had been inside, one of the guys comes in wondering whose red Pontiac they had. Tanner stood up and the guy said, "You have a flat tire."

This surprised us both. We hadn't heard anything, the tires didn't look flat at all when we got out. Suspiciously, Tanner went out and checked it out with them. Turns out my car got out of alignment and my two front tires were worn to the belt.

Thankfully, Tanner had the good jack in the back and he got the spare on the one that was flat so they could get it through the wash. My wonderful husband came back inside, frustrated, and told me what happened. My heart sunk. Tanner kept telling me it was a miracle that we had driven on it without anything happening for so long, but all I could think about was that we were going to need to buy two new tires (at least) and we were still working on getting our $1000 emergency fund back in place to complete Dave Ramsey's Baby Step 1 so we could move on to Baby Step 2 which is tackling our debt!

They finished my car and we went outside only to find new scratches on my car door. Both the passenger side, and the driver side.

Passenger door scratches.

Driver door scratch (gouge).

Unfortunately, we didn't see the extent until we got home and thus there was no point in going back. Tanner is also not completely sure they the scratches happened there. Add on to that the tires that could blow any minute if we drove on them.

I cried the whole way home. He was trying to stay positive and all I could do was cry because we were going to have to use our emergency fund once again. (We had to use most of it, since we had actually complete Baby Step 1, last month for Tanner's wisdom teeth removal. Though God provided there too so we had plenty to cover it and we got to pay in cash so we got the cash discount! :D )

It seemed hopeless. I felt as though we were never going to get to Baby Step 2 and we would always be stuck on Baby Step 1 thus we wouldn't get out non-mortgage debt paid off until 2027 or something crazy like that. It seemed Murphy's law had struck again. It seemed like Murphy was here to stay.

Sunday, I was still pretty down. As I got ready for church, my eye started to hurt. I tried all my usual tactics but I started to fear it was my contact. I refused to take them out, much to Tanner's displeasure, and we headed off to church. I suffered through the pain all through class and worship and our youth small group. We got home and Tanner had forgotten as I hadn't said anything for a while. SO, we sat and played video games until I said something about it hurting and he threatened to turn the game off if I didn't take them out.

Begrudgingly, I went upstairs and took the one that was hurting out first. Tanner came up with me, probably make sure I actually did it. :P

OH THE PAIN! Normally it hurts a little if I take out a contact that has been bothering me simply because the eye is irritated. But this! This was SO much worse! My eye watered and it was hard to keep it open! I told Tanner, "It feels like there is still something on my eye!"

I managed to pry it open and touch my eye where I felt something. I looked at my finger and there WAS something still in my eye! To me it looked like a piece of plastic, but Tanner informed me it was more likely some polyester or something.

In all that process, I realized that I had been wearing my last pair of contacts. It was time to order more. Another thing the emergency fund was going to have to cover since contacts are SO expensive and we hadn't planned for that expense. I was able to use what was left for July, as it would have gone into the fund anyway, so I didn't have to pull so much out.

Thus, for the last couple days I have been in a HUGE slump. I was having to wear my glasses so my eyes could heal (and if you know me, you know how much I HATE wearing glasses), we found out that my tire size is such a weird size that hardly anyone carries them in stock, we were looking  at the cost of buying the tires, getting them balanced and such, and then getting an alignment done; it was like the bad was never ending.

Tanner has been staying positive. He realizes the fact that it's not a big deal because we DO have the money we do set aside for these types of things. If we hadn't just gone through Financial Peace University, this would have devastated us and it would have had to go on one of the credit cards because we wouldn't have had the money. Tanner knows that we are going to be okay and that God is going to take care of us. He knows that as long as we stick to the plan, we will be back on track and tackling the debt in no time.

I know all of this to be true. I know that God is going to take care of us. However, I'm struggling to be grateful. I'm struggling to stay positive. I don't have my car to drive, we are having to carpool everyday in Tanner's truck (he drives to his work and then I drive to mine, then back to his work and he drives home), I was wearing my glasses (which of the two pairs I have, were the not a good pair since the lenses are apparently smaller, found that out last night), AND I couldn't eat anything yesterday because I had my medical exam thing for the life insurance I am getting. (Tanner had his done last week for his insurance.)

Today is a little better, though it started out rough due to my contacts being fuzzy while my eyes adjusted and waking up with the same headache I got in the middle of the night last night. I got some food in my stomach, and then coffee, my contacts cleared up and I'm okay. Yesterday, we got my contacts AND tires ordered! Tires will be here Monday and contacts on Thursday.

I'm slowly regaining my positivity. It's been a struggle though, and I'm not sure why. I guess I need to try and focus on the good. I need to focus on God... He is my comforter, I just have to truly believe it and seek Him.

Psalm 23:1-3
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. 

Too Close For Comfort

There was a tragedy last night. Tanner and I were at home when we saw the news on Facebook. Someone decided that shooting at a theater was a good idea. It's awful and terrible and incredibly sad.

It scares me. It wasn't just any theater. It was the one here in Lafayette. Just a few miles away from our cozy house, our friends; in our community. Several people were injured and a two lost their lives to this madness. The shooter turned the gun on himself and ended his life as well.

We weren't there last night, but if we had gone to the movies, the Grand 16 on Johnston Street is the theater we would have gone to. In fact, we were just there on Sunday watching Ant-Man. I am deeply saddened by what happened. I can't look at the news on Facebook and not tear up. My heart sinks for the victims and those that were witnesses.

Thank God for the person that was able to pull the fire alarm and get everyone else out safely. Thank God for the people who helped the injured. Thank God for our police men and women and those that serve our community. Thank God that there weren't any more casualties than there were.

I don't know why a 59 year old man from Alabama came to a theater in Louisiana with a gun and started shooting. I do know, however, that the gun he had isn't the problem.

Guns can not shoot themselves. Guns can not make a person do anything. MAN shoots a gun. MAN uses them for evil. MAN commits SIN.

Just like you can't blame a pencil for misspelling words, you can't blame a gun for shooting. It is MAN that picks it up, aims, and pulls the trigger.

A gun is a tool, just like a hammer, and screwdriver, and a knife.

Please pray for the community of Lafayette, Louisiana. Pray for the families of the victims. Pray for healing. Pray for wisdom. Pray for peace.

Good is good. His love endures forever. Amen.

I Have an Addiction.

I have an addiction. It's hard for me to admit. However, I've been dealing with this for a long time. Probably since High School. I didn't know I was.

My addiction: Food.

I am addicted to food. Yes, food is something we can't live without. I, however, end up eating things simply because they taste good or I feel like munching on something. Seriously, if I get a bag of chips in my hand, I don't want to stop eating. I almost ate a whole bag of white cheddar SKINNY POP popcorn in one sitting!

I even took the ALCAT test to tell me what I shouldn't be eating to help me be healthier. I found out that my body reacts the same way to Gluten and Strawberries as it would to Ebola. I got a whole list of  thing that essentially poison my body, at least a little, if I eat them. This list unfortunately includes: watermelon, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, potatoes, grapes, soybean (soy), dairy, grapefruit, peanuts, almonds, apples, blueberries, turkey, plums, pecans, honeydew melon, cocoa, crab, cumin, honey, lobster, mango, pears, raspberries, spinach, tuna, wild rice, and a few others. <-- HARD!!!!

You can see how my attempt to become health quickly spiraled into hopelessness. Which then became, "I give up."

Why? Because I LOVE watermelon, strawberries, pizza, buttered bread, cantaloupe, fires, mashed potatoes, chocolate, s'mores, chips, butter on my popcorn, smoothies, ice cream, ect. I don't want to give them up.

I found that when Tanner is sleeping upstairs, because of his mouth still healing from the wisdom teeth extraction, I sit on the couch, watch TV and hear food calling my name. We don't even have a whole bunch of food in the house at the moment, but we do have pudding, fudge bars, popsicles, popcorn, soda... they all call my name. I get the munchies BAD.

Know that I have admitted to myself those three words that no one wants to ever admit, I am addicted, I realize that I'm not the only one.

Apparently, my great-grandfather on both sides of my family were alcoholics. This resulted in practically all of my family not drinking. I know my family has tried some of it, but it was never in the house and it was something that was looked down upon. However, I think my family got so focused on not becoming addicted to alcohol that we didn't address the fact that you can become addicted to other things.

In my opinion, food became our addiction. Growing up, we ate out a LOT. So much so, that when I got married, cooking meals for my wonderful husband was hard for me, I didn't know what to make or how to make much of anything. I know how to make cookies, brownies, pasta, tv dinners, and canned chili or soup.

My sister, when she was little, could see a "MiMiDonal's" (McDonald's) from a mile away. She knew what those golden arches were and she knew the "fri fies" that awaited for her inside.

The hardest thing, I think, about admitting that I am addicted to food is that food is essential to life. How do you break an addiction when you need the thing you are addicted to?! I know I could eat healthier and I could try and follow my list, but even then I could still over eat. I CAN have popcorn, but I probably shouldn't have a whole bag full of it which is what I would want to do.

It's almost like I need a 12 step program to learn how to deal with food.

If you have any suggestions or help or even encouragements, they would be greatly appreciated.

It would also be appreciated if you would pray for me as I try and figure out how to deal with this and get myself healthy.

God is good. His love endures forever.

An Eventful 4th of July

This past weekend was July 4th. Tanner and I had planned to go to Dallas to visit my family and spend time with them there. Even had Monday off so we could spend some extra time with them! We were excited and it promised to be a great weekend.

Last week however, Tanner decided he really needed to go to the dentist as the taking of ibuprofen was getting out of hand. The tooth he had gotten a crown on didn't ever stop hurting in one way or another, whether it be sensitivity or just a slight pain. Also, his wisdom teeth were coming in weird and giving him issues. So, he made the appointment for Friday morning and our plans remained unchanged.

The appointment went well, minus the part when Tanner had to bite down on a piece of plastic with the crowned tooth which caused him intense pain. They told him he was going to need a root canal and his wisdom needed to be removed. Prices were better than other places, and we decided we would makes sure when would be a good time to schedule the next appointment and call them with a time and date. They also gave us a prescription for the pain and some antibiotics.

The rest of the day was uneventful and soon we were off to Dallas.

Oh what a ride it was.

Tanner was is so much pain and he was the one driving so he couldn't take the pain pill they had given him because it would make him drowsy. Six ibuprofen later and he was still in pain. We spent most of the car ride in silence. Note that the ride is five and a half hours long.

We FINALLY made it to Dallas, got the truck unpacked and Tanner was able to take his pain pill. He went to bed and I stayed up a little longer to wait for my sister to get home and to just talk with my parents. I expected Tanner to be passed out, but when I went back a couple hours later to go to bed, he was up brushing his teeth. He was still in pain. We went to bed and he tossed and turned, took more ibuprofen, and finally fell asleep at about 5:30 am.

Obviously, I didn't sleep well either. :P

One unhappy camper.

The next morning he seemed to be feeling a little better. However, it didn't last long. We had gone grocery shopping, and we were back at my parents cleaning the grill, cooking, playing with my little cousin, Collin, and we eventually went swimming. Tanner, despite how hard he tried, sat on the steps most of the time with his head in his hands. (My poor hubby. :( ) He found that keeping cold water on the tooth with the cap helped, but he had to keep it on there. On the plus side, he drank LOTS of water. :P

After we came inside from swimming to eat dinner, he got hit with pain that had him curled up on the bed with his hands on his head pleading for it to stop. It was awful. I got him some more water and went to eat. Mom and I then thought of the idea of an emergency dental place. I started looking some up on my phone but, being the 4th of July, it wasn't clear if they were open. Tanner's pain finally subsided and he came out to eat some steak. Mom called the emergency dental place, found out they had been taking patients (frustrating) and they would be open for an 11:30 am appointment the next day.

After church we run over to the dental place, they get us in, take more x-rays and give us the price to do a root canal. More expensive than our dentist, but we decided to do it anyway because Tanner was in SO much pain.

2 hours later and Tanner is a VERY happy man in NO pain! He even fell asleep a couple of times during the procedure! (He was way to exhausted and with out the pain there to keep him up he just passed out. :P )

The rest of the day was very happy and we were thankful to have an extra day to spend in Dallas with my family. The ride home was also MUCH more pleasant.

So our restful weekend turned out to be a very interesting one.

Moral of the story. If you need a root canal, in a tooth that has been hurting, get it done the same day! Also, don't wait a long time to get the tooth that shouldn't be sensitive anymore but still is checked out. Not a good idea.

AND, don't eat heath bar ice cream. That's what got us into this mess in the first place. Heath bar ice cream cracks teeth. Don't do it.

Hope y'all had a less eventful (unless the events were good!) 4th of July!