Tuesday, July 14, 2015

I Have an Addiction.

I have an addiction. It's hard for me to admit. However, I've been dealing with this for a long time. Probably since High School. I didn't know I was.

My addiction: Food.

I am addicted to food. Yes, food is something we can't live without. I, however, end up eating things simply because they taste good or I feel like munching on something. Seriously, if I get a bag of chips in my hand, I don't want to stop eating. I almost ate a whole bag of white cheddar SKINNY POP popcorn in one sitting!

I even took the ALCAT test to tell me what I shouldn't be eating to help me be healthier. I found out that my body reacts the same way to Gluten and Strawberries as it would to Ebola. I got a whole list of  thing that essentially poison my body, at least a little, if I eat them. This list unfortunately includes: watermelon, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, potatoes, grapes, soybean (soy), dairy, grapefruit, peanuts, almonds, apples, blueberries, turkey, plums, pecans, honeydew melon, cocoa, crab, cumin, honey, lobster, mango, pears, raspberries, spinach, tuna, wild rice, and a few others. <-- HARD!!!!

You can see how my attempt to become health quickly spiraled into hopelessness. Which then became, "I give up."

Why? Because I LOVE watermelon, strawberries, pizza, buttered bread, cantaloupe, fires, mashed potatoes, chocolate, s'mores, chips, butter on my popcorn, smoothies, ice cream, ect. I don't want to give them up.

I found that when Tanner is sleeping upstairs, because of his mouth still healing from the wisdom teeth extraction, I sit on the couch, watch TV and hear food calling my name. We don't even have a whole bunch of food in the house at the moment, but we do have pudding, fudge bars, popsicles, popcorn, soda... they all call my name. I get the munchies BAD.

Know that I have admitted to myself those three words that no one wants to ever admit, I am addicted, I realize that I'm not the only one.

Apparently, my great-grandfather on both sides of my family were alcoholics. This resulted in practically all of my family not drinking. I know my family has tried some of it, but it was never in the house and it was something that was looked down upon. However, I think my family got so focused on not becoming addicted to alcohol that we didn't address the fact that you can become addicted to other things.

In my opinion, food became our addiction. Growing up, we ate out a LOT. So much so, that when I got married, cooking meals for my wonderful husband was hard for me, I didn't know what to make or how to make much of anything. I know how to make cookies, brownies, pasta, tv dinners, and canned chili or soup.

My sister, when she was little, could see a "MiMiDonal's" (McDonald's) from a mile away. She knew what those golden arches were and she knew the "fri fies" that awaited for her inside.

The hardest thing, I think, about admitting that I am addicted to food is that food is essential to life. How do you break an addiction when you need the thing you are addicted to?! I know I could eat healthier and I could try and follow my list, but even then I could still over eat. I CAN have popcorn, but I probably shouldn't have a whole bag full of it which is what I would want to do.

It's almost like I need a 12 step program to learn how to deal with food.

If you have any suggestions or help or even encouragements, they would be greatly appreciated.

It would also be appreciated if you would pray for me as I try and figure out how to deal with this and get myself healthy.

God is good. His love endures forever.


  1. I so desperately want to tell you something new. Something that might be a help. Food Addiction is even worse I feel because it is not as widely accepted as a true addiction. Maybe we should be the pioneers of a 12 step type group? Not sure how to do that from across the country but it's a thought

  2. You're right our family has an addiction to food. I can lose weight fairly easy but when I start to feel really good I start putting it back on. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this but know this... I LOVE YOU! Lets fight this together! Dad
    2 Peter 1:3-10

  3. Thank you both for the comments. They mean so much to me! :) I was a little afraid putting this out there.

    Jeff: I think you're right! There are campaigns to try and help "obesity" but food has never been addressed as an addiction. Maybe we should! I would have NO clue where to start or even what the steps for other things are.. haha!

    Daddy: I love you SO much! Let's! The more support the better! The question now, I guess, would be how. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!