Learning to Dream Again

Remember when you were a kid and you used to dream of what your future would hold? I remember as a little girl I dreamed of becoming a cowgirl. I would own my own ranch and have horses that I would ride all the time. I'd ride the hills in my boots and hat and chaps and vest, not a care in the world.

Slowly that dream died. I realized that would never happen. Horses were expensive to take care of and I was told my love of horses was a phase that I would grow out of. I did get to take some riding lessons and learned that I hated English style riding. Western had always been the way I wanted to ride anyway. When I finally got to take western riding lessons, I loved it. However, the horses didn't always like me. And thus after a while, my love for horses diminished and my dream of riding the hills and plains faded into the past.

As I grew, I came into the thought process that any dream I had was foolish and would never amount to anything. I wanted to be a singer in a band, but knew it would never happen. I wanted to be an author, and pursued that for a while, but decided that my stories would never be good enough.

There were things I dreamed, and let myself dream about, because they were realistic dreams. Like, I dreamed I would marry a wonderful man who loved me fully and we would have a beautiful wedding. That came true. But I never really considered it a dream. It was realistic. It was something I was sure would happen.

So, when people talk about dreams, I'm at a loss. I grew to loathe the question: "Where do you see yourself in [x amount of] years?" I hated it, and still do, because my answer never changed. "I don't know." Part of it was because God has plans that I don't even know about. I thought I was going to go to Harding and graduate in four years and then get married to a man I met in person, probably live in Texas and never work with youth. After my first year at Harding, God took me to Washington where my aunt, uncle, and cousins lived. My plan was then to live there. I got on eharmony and was only looking in that area. Then I met Tanner. A man from Ohio who loved working with the youth at his congregation. I moved back to Dallas to work at my mom's law firm and started planning a future in Ohio. Now, here I am 4 years later in Lafayette, Louisiana. On top of that, I'm working with the youth and teaching a women's class and in leadership role.

The other part of my hatred of that question was that I didn't have any dreams. I decided to live day by day, week by week. I squelched any grand dreams or hopes that I thought were dumb or unrealistic.

Recently, though, I was convicted to try and dream again. Not just dream, but write them down. Any dream. From cooking the perfect meal, to my future kids graduation and wedding and kids. I realized I did have dreams I'd been shutting out. I had labeled them as hopes.

That's the funny thing about dreams is, we can end up calling them different things. Hopes. Wishes. Prayers.

So as I started writing these things down, I allowed myself to dream without fear, without abandon. I was shocked how many I ended up writing down. And I didn't even include the traveling I would like to do or my future kids graduations and spouses/weddings and their future kids. One that will never be crossed off for me, though, is growing closer to God and learning more about him and his love.

I encourage you to dream and write down those dreams. One day I'm sure I will look on my list and see that many of them have come true and will need to make a new list. Dream. Continue to dream. And don't hold yourself back. God can do so much more that you could ever hope for. You just have to let yourself dream and then give them to Him.

Own It.

If you have read some of my previous blog posts or know me personally, you know that I have struggled with my weight for quite some time. I have tried several different diets and exercise programs and products. Nothing worked for very long and I lost my motivation quickly.

This February I decided, once again, I needed to get healthier and take care of my body. I researched a few different gyms and, thanks to Facebook, found that one of the gyms I was looking at, which was owned by a friend, was having a sale on their membership if you locked in for a year! I talked with my husband, physically went to the gym to check out the environment and what it was like (also to get a feel of the drive), then JUMPED at the chance!

I am LOVING the classes! But I've also hit a few hiccups where I haven't gone as much as I would like to. But I have also learned something. Having an investment in the gym makes me have skin in the game so I CAN'T give up. And having a couple friends who are at the same gym makes going so much easier!

I've also learned that I can no longer say, "I'm going to try." When I do that, I set myself up with an out and thus, for failure. If I say, "I'm going to try to eat healthier and work out" I give myself that chance of when I do miss a workout or eat no so healthy to say "Well, I tried. It didn't work though."

NO! Never again!

I am putting those words out of my vocabulary! I have to own it!

I WILL eat healthier and work out. I WILL lose weight! I WILL be healthy! I WILL get into shape!

This concept really hit home lately when I became an independent distributor for It Works!. I really just wanted the free product credit! (Which I got!) I found myself thinking, "I'll try it out as a company." My awesome upline kept telling me, "You have to say it like you've got it. That is how you will succeed!" But the voice in the back of my mind kept reminded me how I've failed before.

Suddenly, I snapped. If I want to succeed, I have to own it! I'm not just going to try it as a business.

I WILL succeed and help Tanner and I pay off our debt and put money aside for the deductible on our health insurance when we decide to have a baby.

I WILL make money with MY business!

I started MY OWN business, and I WILL ROCK IT!

Of course, I go to God every day and pray that He leads me in the way He wants me to go. So far, it's lead me here. I firmly believe he led me to It Works! and to Dawn and Macie and the rest of my team. I just had to be ready to hear what they had to say and willing to let Him handle the how. He has blessed my business thus far and I am SO grateful for that!

Take "try" out of your vocabulary. Rely on God and own what you do.

Thoughts of the day

Don't you hate when you start something and have to end it, knowing it was a bad idea in the first place? Because then you wonder what it would have been like if you'd kept it going, made it work, even with all the signs and the knowledge from the past telling you it would never work no matter what you did. That haunting feeling just sticks with you and weeps into your dreams, telling you it couldcantve worked and you could have been happy. It's crazy and stupid and illogical and your brain keeps telling you that, but you can't shake the feeling. You don't know what it is or even why you're thinking those things and you just want them to go away. Unfortunately, its not that easy... But it will pass in time. You just have to stick it out and forget about it. Forget about the dreams and the ridiculous hopes and move on. It doesn't matter what happened or why or when. One must just keep moving forward and looking forward to the future. Because the future has something in store for you that will be a billion times better than what you could ever hope for or dream of.