"Just make a list and make friends with guys and wait until you meet someone who fits your list."
"Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. So don't be afraid to date guys! How else are you going to know what you want?"I heard someone say that sometimes girls just have to date a few deadbeats before they realize what they want in a guy.
I almost lost it.
Waiting for your perfect Prince Charming and going out and kissing a few frogs.. both of these view are very WRONG. That's right. I said it. They're both wrong. However, they are both right as well.
Here's the deal. There is nothing wrong with making a list of things that are deal-breakers if someone has or doesn't have something. (For example, a deal-breaker could be that the guy you are looking for has to have a relationship with God. Another could be that he doesn't smoke.) It's when this list has expectations of your future husband that are not realistic. (Like he has to always want to be with me.) Also, don't say "He has to be blonde" or "have green eyes" because you never know who God has in store for you. Also, remember that no one is perfect. Finding the "perfect man" is a lie. You aren't perfect and he won't be either. Your Prince isn't always going to be charming.
There is also nothing wrong with dating. However, guard your heart. Date with the intent to marry. What I mean by that is don't just date someone because they are cute and funny and they like you. Save yourself the heartbreak. PLEASE! (Oh, if I had taken this advice!) If a guy doesn't act like someone you would consider marrying in the future, DON'T DATE HIM!
Here's the truth, once you start dating someone, you put on rose colored glasses. You think they are just the best thing in the world and you stop seeing the red flags (or you just ignore them). I know this from experience.
I dated a guy once and ended up falling more in love with what I made him in my head than he actually was. My cousin asked me once if I would marry him if he asked. I told him yes. They guy in my head would have asked and would have been a wonderful husband that would stop playing video games and spend time with me. The guy I was dating wouldn't have asked at that point in time and wouldn't put down the controller when we got a chance to Skype.
Am I saying he is a bad guy? NO! He just wasn't the guy I thought I was in love with. He wasn't the guy I was to marry.
So, please, hear my words, take them to heart. Don't have so high of expectations that you get exhausted with waiting and just date the guy who is close enough but may not have (or has) the REAL deal-breakers. But also don't put yourself through the hurt of just dating anyone who is cute, nice, funny, and likes you. If you can't point out other reasons than those of why you are dating him, chances are, he's not the guy for you. Please trust me on this.
And guys, this isn't just for girls. Don't settle, and don't put yourself through the hurt of dating just anyone either. Your future wife will thank you.
There is someone out there for you. I don't know when you will find him or her. I just urge you to date wisely and with intent.
You are worth the wait and you are worth fighting for.
Guard your heart.